A Windy Night...

Well, it is 2:00 am and the wind is howling. So what do I do? Decide to start a blog! Crazy right? Yup, but I am doing it anyway. The song Everyday is a Winding Road by Sheryl Crow was running through my head and I have to laugh at how true her song is, especially when I think of the lines 'Everybody gets high, everybody gets low.'. Only when she sings of getting high and low i don't think that she was referring to Blood Sugars. But indeed everyday in the life of one caring for a child with type 1 diabetes does seem to be a winding road and today has been no exception. And we definately see our share of both highs and lows. Today was more highs than lows, by the way. Plus my boy (Ezekiel) was non-stop hungry so I think we could be heading into a growth spurt.
In an effort to control all of these highs and lows we test Ezekiel's blood sugar many times a day. Get the meter ready. Blood Drop. Test. Beep. Sometimes high, Sometimes low. Sometimes perfect. Somedays all of the blood drops will result in perfect. Those are some great days. But most days will have at least one high or low in there some where. Somedays they are all high or all low or high and low. Blood Drop. Test. Blood Drop Test. How many drops of blood do I see in a day? At least 6. sometimes 10 or 12. If he is sick even more than that.
In order to keep his blood sugar within range we must carefully balance his carbohydrate intake with insulin. Of course exercise is part of that balance. A half hour of jumping on the trampoline can drop his sugar really fast. And then there are all the other factors: stress, illness, excitement, adreneline, nervousness, the weather, and the list goes on. This is what makes managing type 1 diabetes so tricky. The day the circus came to town he was very excited and his blood sugar was in the 20's most of the day. The day of his birthday party he was equally (if not more) excited and I was expecting him to be higher, but no, he was on the lower end that day. Sometimes he is high or low and I can never figure out why. Those are the hardest to deal with. I like to know why. To be able to exlpain, to rationalize, then fix it.
But it hasn't been all bad. That's right dealing with type 1 diabetes hasn't been all bad. There have been Blue Skies too. Sunny skies even. For one thing I have discovered a strength I didn't know I had. We found out Ezekiel has type 1 diabetes on valentine's day 2009. Ezekiel had been peeing A LOT. When I mentioned this to my nurse friend we were visiting that day she had said the D word which my own interenet research had pointed to. She had some urine test strips in her home and told me if I could get him to pee in a cup she could check his urine and if there was no sugar in his urnine perhaps it could be something else she can't think of. I thought 'Great, let's get him to pee in a cup and rule this out right now.'
Well, that certainly backfired. She dipped the strip in my son's urine and watching it she said 'I'm so sorry.' I could only say 'What?' 'He is large for glucose and positive for ketones.' she said. 'What does that even mean?' I ask (what the heck are ketones anyway, I don't think I had even heard of them before this in my life, even though my husband is also type 1). She told me that it could only mean he had diabetes.
The first words out of my mouth were 'But I can't give anyone a needle! I can't do this!' and then I cried. And she cried. Her daughter and I both always told her we could never be nurses like her because we could never give anyone a needle. Her daughter is Ezekiel's babysitter. That first week was so hard. But I did give a needle. I have given many needles. (and for the record my friend's daughter has given Ezekiel needles too!)I have since done a lot of things I would have never of thought I would be capable of.
Not only have I amazed myself, my boy has amazed me even more. He is my hero. I have seen him fight us and get angry at D, yes. But I have seen him be brave and become smart beyond his years. What 4 year old can even say 'carbohydrate'? At 5 when we needed him to finish eating his supper as we had given him insulin for it he would reason with us and say he could have something else to make up the carbs. And now at 6 he can bolus himself through his pump, hardly ever mixes up even the big 2 digit numbers and is starting to read the carbohydrates on food labels. And in the lunch room when other kids ask if it hurts to check his sugar he proudly says 'No.' (The girls at his school think he is brave too:)
And one of the best blue sunny sky to come out of this whole diabetes thing is friendships. Through this disease I have met some amazing people. Some have been in person, but most have only been online. Though we may not have ever met, we have laughed together, cried together, shared our hurts, anger, furstration and joys. We have even mailed things to each other. No one can truly understand what it is like to have a child with type 1 diabetes unless they live it. If you aren't in this situation I pray that you never will be. If you are then you know what I am talking about. This is the common thread that binds these friendships tight. From Inuvik, NWT to a little town near Boston, MA and many places in between (and even beyond) I have made some wonderful lasting friendships that I hope will last a lifetime, even though I hope diabetes doesn't. One day they will find a cure and I hope it will be in Ezekiel's lifetime. Then we can skip the Blood Drops and stick to the Blue Skies! Goodnight everyone.